Flavour of the week - Francois Sagat

Francois Sagat has the honour of being the very first (though I daresay not the last!) porn star to grace my blog. He may not be all that tall (5’9 I believe), but his flawless physique casts an impressive shadow. He tends to don a smouldering, almost intimidating look in his movies, which he excels at (amplified considerably by the beard he frequently grows). But what I find striking about this French beauty is how his menacing demeanour all but melts away when he smiles! :D

Brains, brains, use your brains

28 WEEKS LATER

Compared to the first, 28 Weeks Later is bigger, faster and much gorier. After a terrifying opening sequence, the film settles into the aftermath of the events in the first film. American troops have been drafted in to oversee the gradual repopulation of Britain. But, as you can guess, things don’t go exactly to plan and another outbreak of the virus eventually ensues.

28 Weeks Later is an entirely different beast to Danny Boyles low key original. A heftier budget this time round allows events to take place on a much larger scale, with more infected and a much higher body count. There are some really big scares (at one point my popcorn nearly went in the air!) and a number of scenes were so disgusting that I actually had to look away.

I wasn’t a huge fan of the superfast editing though. Sometimes it was hard to make out exactly what was going on (though it did add to the overall this sense of confusion and panic during the crowd scenes, so it may have been intentional!).

The big let down was the complete disconnection with the characters. With 28 Days I quickly latched onto the protagonists and cared what fate they suffered, but 28 Weeks glosses over the characters and the film suffers because of it. Beyond the running and screaming, most of the actors have little to work with.

While nowhere as near good as the original, 28 Weeks Later is a worthy sequel and well worth a look, especially if you can experience it in the pitch dark of the cinema :D

Robotic Clones

Considering the number of times I’ve been let down by Star Wars in recent years, I wonder if I’m setting myself up for a fall yet again. But the first teaser trailer for the new Clone Wars CGI TV series has just been released on StarWars.com and it looks ridiculously cool!

They’ve taken a simplified approach to the design of the characters, yet they are still instantly recognisable as their big screen counterparts. The animation is pretty slick and there’s something about hearing the unique sound effects that immediately takes me back to the movies. If you are even remotely a fan of the star wars universe, then hurry on over and check it out.

And for the perfect antithesis to this, take a gander at same site for the forthcoming Star Wars spoof by “Robot Chicken” creators Seth Green. It looks HIGH-larious.

PS: most of the clips can already be seen on youtube :D

Gallery of Rogues

I wasn't too keen on Nolans restart to the Batman franchise, but I must say that his choice of casting for the sequel is shaping up quite nicely indeed! Maggie Gyllenhaal is far more appealing than Holmes as a love interest for Bruce Wayne and casting Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent (above) is absolutely inspired :D

I still haven't warmed to the idea of Heath Ledger as the Joker, but the new pic of him thats being doing the rounds online (also above) is refreshingly disturbing........just as the Joker should be ;)

Dont stop movin

CRANK

Sometimes it’s good to just switch off the auld brain and watch something totally mindless. Such was the case with Crank. A hit man is injected with a killer drug and the only way to slow down its effects is to keep his adrenaline pumping. I think you’ll all agree, this is the set up for the perfect trashy action movie.

From the very opening scene, the film hits the ground running and its frantic pace never lets up. The direction is trippy and the editing is blisteringly fast (at times it felt as though *I* was the victim of some kind of drug-induced rush) and works perfectly in the context of the story.

Despite being a vicious killer with little regard for the lives of people or property, Jason Stathams character is oddly endearing. And Amy Smart (who I normally despise with all my heart and soul) is actually pretty decent here! Its without a doubt the best role she’s ever played :D

The whole film is silly to the extreme yet still manages to be hugely entertaining.

Sign of the times

ZODIAC

( WARNING : SPOILERS )

I’m a HUGE fan of David Finchers work and hes made us wait five long years for his new movie (his last being Panic Room, which I loved). Zodiac is the story of a serial killer who terrorised the west coast of America during the 70s. This film spans whole decades and focuses on the men who became obsessed with catching the killer (the Zodiac of the title).

The film was, for me at least, a huge let down. It possessed none of the usual visual flair that makes Finchers movies so unique and interesting to watch (or perhaps they were so subtle that I didn’t even notice them!). While it felt nowhere near its three-hour running time, it plodded along at weary pace and bored me to the point of distraction. The story was a non-event and often felt like we were treading over the same points again and again. I was never quite sure of the tone of the movie either, as some parts felt quite unbalanced. The only thing I found interesting was in seeing how the progression through time was handled, with the subtle changes in costumes, cars, technology etc.

Hardly any of the characters were engaging (Mark Ruffalos in particular lacked any kind of depth), although I enjoyed Anthony Edwards performance (despite his painfully obvious wig :P ). And I’m tired of watching Robert Downey Jr. (an actor whom I’ve always respected) play the role of a drug and alcohol abuser, as it’s hardly a stretch for him at this point!

The motivation behind Jake Gyllenhaals character to try and catch the Zodiac seemed completely bizarre and was never sufficiently explained. Why would a cartoonist take up the job of hunting down a serial killer? Another niggling point (and maybe this was just me) was that it was hard to take him seriously as the father of two kids, considering how young he looked (he also seemed able to avoid the affects of aging as the film went on :P )

The most maddening thing was the lack of a proper conclusion. I understand that the story is based on real life, and as such it’s hard to wrap up everything in time for the credits, but why should we leave the cinema feeling as frustrated and unsatisfied as the men on the Zodiac case? *sigh*

The Last Goodbye

Lets all take a moment of quiet reflection, Liberty X are sadly no more :( They were never taken seriously by fans or critics (or their record company, if the the promotion given to their last album is anything to go by!), but I always had a bit of a soft spot for them. God help them, they were nothing if not triers :D

I look forward to see which of them makes the biggest (and most desperate) attempt at a solo career. My money is on Kelli Young ;)

If you go down to the woods today

SEVERANCE

Every once in a (long) while a film comes out of nowhere and completely bowls me over. Severance happened to be one of those films.

It started off with a bang, as most horror movies do, something to get the old juices flowing. Then come the introductions to our merry band of victims, each a nicely rounded stereotype for us to identify with. I found myself genuinely liking this group of actors, a mix of unknowns and famous(ish) faces. I feared the American actress Laura Harris would stick out like a sore thumb in a Brit flick, but she surprised me by gelling well with the rest of the cast. There were some wonderful character building moments and given the short run time, they all did a great job of endearing themselves to the viewer (a necessity in these genre of slasher horror movie).

The balance between comedy and horror was handled very well. And humour is a great device for luring the viewer into a false sense of security. If you are laughing one minute, it makes the scary part that follows all the more shocking and visceral! Some of the violence was tongue in cheek, but it still managed to be quite gory in parts.

Not taking itself at ALL seriously, this movie is pure entertainment and a perfect example of how a tired genre can be reinvigorated with a relatively tiny budget :D

Paddy last

Well we all knew we were gonna crash and burn, but I don't think anyone expected us to come dead last in the Eurovision last night :O (except perhaps RTE, the clever folks who cunningly picked the group and style of song).

Now hows this for irony: up until the Irish vote, we were third last on the score table. We awarded points to the last and second last countries (the two below us), essentially pushing ourselves into last place!! I cant tell you how hard I laughed when that happened :D

And should we really thank Albania for giving us their “cinq points”? I think not. It would have been all the more brutal if we’d got nothing at all. 5 points was 5 more than we deserved, in my embittered opinion!!! :P

That’s not to say the rest of the entries were anything to get excited about. I thought Serbias winning song was bland at best. The Russians were far superior, having a current sounding song and a highly professional performance that didnt rely on gimmicks (unless you count the use of attractive jail bait as a gimmick :P ). It really was probably the only song I could see doing well on the charts.

Clearly RTE dont want us to host the Eurovision ever again, but it would be nice if we didnt do SO badly next time......

I wanna be sedated

As Skeletor once said: "Everything comes to he who waits, and I have waited so VERY long for this moment".

Its only taken a mere twelve years for it to come round, but "the powers that be" have finally decided to release one of my fav shows EVER on DVD: "My So-Called Life"!!!! :D :D :D I'm sure that the clothes, the hair, the music and even the slang have dated horribly, but I just don't care, this is an essential purchase for anyone who was a teen in the 90s :P

When I watched that show, I felt as if the writers were reading my mind. The characters were like these kindred spirits who went through all the same weird self obsessing that I (and I assume everyone) went through while they're in school. It was like Claire Danes was living my life :P Except she got to hang around with Jared Leto *sigh*

A Korean delicacy

THE HOST

Truth be told, I only picked this up this beauty in Xtra-Vision cause the cover art caught my eye. It turned out to be a lot more enjoyable than I expected. The movie is partly tongue-in-cheek, but because of the language barrier (and maybe my own ineptitude), I’ve always found it especially difficult to tell when Asian people are trying to be funny or sarcastic. Still, I found myself laughing at the most unexpected of moments :D

Where “The Host” succeeds (and practically every other movie I’ve seen lately has failed) is that they establish characters that I end up actually giving a damn about. When some of the central characters find themselves in jeopardy, I was overcome with a genuine sense of fear or tension. At times, I was literally holding my breath!

What I loved about the film was how it lulled you into a false sense of security at the start, which only makes the carnage that followed feel all the more shocking and brutal. The special effects looked quite ropey in parts, but I really must applaud the filmmakers for being so brave and bold with their use of outdoor effects shots. Having said that, the creature looked far more convincing during the interior scenes!

“The Host” is a surprisingly decent film and worth a look if you’re a fan of big giant monster movies! A word of warning though, I found the set up of the family in the movie to be terribly confusing. It took me a good half hour before I understood who was related to who, and in what way :P

Several frogs a leaping

DISTRICT 13

Ah Luc Besson, to think that there was a time when I admired you :P

“District 13” was made only two years ago, but harkens back to the days of the trashy 80s buddy movies. A certain cheapness permeated the entire proceedings. There’s no point talking about plot or acting, cause that’s not what this film is about. Juvenile fun is the order of the day :D

The film is nothing more than an excuse to showcase the daring acrobatic abilities of David Belle. This is the man who invented the Parkour craze, an activity that involves plenty of springing off walls and hopping off roofs. Believe me when I say that its far more impressive than it sounds. The level of fitness required to pull off these stunts is mind-boggling! Even more surprising is the assurance that all these feats were achieved without the use of stunt doubles, special effects or wirework :P

“District 13” is a no-brainer of a movie and fans of martial arts flicks will find plenty to enjoy here. If for no other reason, I can recommend this movie purely on the basis of its two main protagonists. Both are SO impossibly attractive (but in completely different ways), that it beggars belief :D

On an aside, I should point out that the premise of this movie (trying to contain a violent area of Paris by simply building a wall around it) seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world. But right after I watched I the movie, I saw a report on Sky News that showed that exactly the same thing has been done in some part of Iraq. I kid you not!!

Missed its (Marky) Mark

SHOOTER

Its perhaps a little deceiving to tag this movie with the line “From the director of Training Day” as it bears no resemblance in tone or sophistication to the 2001 movie with Denzel and Ethan. From the trailer I imagined it to be something similar to an Arnie flick (back in his heyday). Sadly this film is neither realistic, nor tongue in cheek, but sits somewhere uncomfortably in-between. The film desperately wants to be taken seriously (as the straight faced performances would have us believe), but the dialogue is simply too preposterous. Some of Danny Glover’s lines are downright laughable.

I’ve always imagined Wahlberg would suit a “one man against the world” movie, and you can certainly see the potential here. And much like a fine wine, this man just seems to get sexier with age :P However, his characters demeanour is so icy and detached as he dispatches the various assailants, that after a while you loose all sympathy for his cause. Without the whimsical one-liners to lighten the mood (something Arnie did so well), the protagonist comes across as nothing but a cold-blooded murderer.

The acting is too uneven (all round), the plot is unbelievable and the film just drags on FOREVER. Just when you think its over, its keeps on going!! “Shooter” ran for 120 minutes, which in my opinion was 120 minutes too long!

Flavour of the week - Tobey Maguire

Spiderman 3 came out this week, so it was inevitable that its protagonist would pop up on this blog. I've always been oddly attracted to Tobeys slightly off kilter appearance. Its the eyes, those perpetually sleepy looking eyes. I find them both alluring and kinda disturbing at the same time. You can never be quite sure what going on behind them..........

Dont look directly at it!

SUNSHINE

The plot here is simple; in the future earths sun is dying and a group of multi-ethnic astronauts are sent in a spaceship to try and reignite it.

I think it’s hugely ironic that a film about the sun can be so darn cold. My main gripe is the same one I’ve been having with most films lately. The characters are totally flat and lifeless, completely devoid of emotion. Without any sense of the characters on screen, it’s nigh impossible to care for them or their plight.

Up to a point, the film maintains a fairly predictable plot, which borrows heavily from other spaced out movies like “Event Horizon” and “2010”. Towards the end, the tone shifts from being a tense sci-fi movie, to a horror flick. The shift is quite jarring and the thinking behind it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

On the plus side, the visuals are breathtaking. The ships design is fairly unique and the sun itself is beautifully realised.

Its a mini adventure

In an effort to keep this blog a lil more active I’m going to try something new: SHORTER REVIEWS!! (“Brevity?! From Brian?! Surely not!” you cry :P ) I find that unless I’m tickled pink or angered beyond belief by a movie, I lack the inspiration to properly review it. Such a thing has happened with the past few films I’ve seen. Born out of this is my attempt to sum up my thoughts in a more concise manner! *sigh* Already my wordiness is making itself all too evident! (Just call me Polonius :P )